John Gottman describes this as “Perpetual Problems” defined by either:
- Fundamental differences in your personality that repeatedly create conflict.
- Fundamental differences in your lifestyle needs.
In this blog, we are going to discuss the top 5 perpetual topics that appear in couples therapy. These examples are highly stereotyped, which is how it is presented when emotions are high.
- Money—a spender marries and saver.
- Sex—a horn dog marries a prude.
- Conflict resolution—a runner marries a blamer.
- Children—a “friend” parent marries an enforcer.
- Household chores—a neat freak marries ultimate slob.
Now that we have highlighted the extremes, what if you were told that 67% of your marriage’s issues (and others for that matter) are perpetual and unsolvable? Fortunately, the success to a happy marriage is not making perpetual issues solvable, it is learning how realign as a team when you always going to be on opposite sides of important topics.