“The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong at the broken places.” – Ernest Hemingway
Ever wonder why some people can bounce back from difficulties while others become stuck? Resilience plays an essential role in how one manages or copes with stress. The more resilient, the better one bounces back from challenges.
What factors contribute to resilience?
- Social connections that includes peers and family.
- Coping skills. Have strategies for calming down when stressed i.e. journaling, walking, art, taking a bath, playing a sport.
- Problem solving. Ability to identify a problem, possible solutions, pros and cons to each solution, and creating a plan of action.
- Autonomy. Self-awareness, act independently, opportunity for mastery, and an internal locus of control.
- Purpose. Ideas of what short and long term goals are in different areas of life.
What builds resilience in families?
- Conversations. Communicate your willingness to listen and be available.
- Firm limits and clear rules. Monitor your child’s behavior and follow through with rewards and/or consequences.
- Love. Be supportive and empathetic to their wants and needs while communicating expectations.
- Family dinners or other rituals. Families with a consistent time to be together tend to be more resilient. If family dinners are not an option, create your own family ritual i.e. pancake breakfast, game night, before practice snacks, bedtime check in, etc.
- Opportunities for family members to solve their own problems. Have children or teens make a meal, create a homework schedule, chores, buy groceries with a budgeted amount of money, etc. If they get stuck solving a problem or having trouble managing a feeling, become their problem solving coach.