Angry? Overwhelmed? Suffocated? It may be time to change some boundaries. This is easier said then done. Below are tips to set personal limits with people in your life.
- Boundaries sound like, “If you….(i.e. yell and call me names), then I will….(i.e. leave the room)
- Anger, rage, complaining, and feeling threatened, suffocated or victimized can indicate where boundaries may need to be set.
- You cannot simultaneously set a limit with someone and also take care of their feelings; they may feel hurt, angry, or disappointed, which is not your problem.
- When you begin to set boundaries you may start to feel ashamed and afraid. Find an outlet: writing, creating, exercising, gardening, etc.
- Push back from others frequently occurs when setting boundaries. Be prepared with a plan to keep yourself calm enough to hold your boundary even when met with resistance.
- Part of setting boundaries is knowing how you will meet your need if the other person rejects or ignores your personal limit. Know what you will do or follow through with when setting limits.
- “Negative company will never give you a positive life. Examine what you will tolerate in the long-term.” -unknown
- You will set boundaries when you are ready.